As Autumn winds down it’s time to treat yourself with compassion.  Be conscious this is the season to be gentle and wrap yourself with TLC.  If you are someone who is constantly there for everyone else, now is the time to turn that caring inwards and say ‘no’ to others.  It is only by first caring for your own needs that you can adequately care for those around you.

Self-care is a vital step on the pathway to Wellness. Although we may know that self-care is important it can be difficult to know how to begin to make the necessary changes. The answer is to begin with something simple and work up to the bigger challenges.

Self Love

Self-care begins with self-love which is an essential step on the pathway to Soul Empowered Wellness.

If you wish to grow in consciousness and walk a path of integrity and authentic power, one of the most fundamental steps is to attend to your self-care.  It all begins with self-love, the simple act of honouring yourself with kindness and respect.

Self-love has nothing to do with being selfish. Rather, it is about attending to your needs, not about putting yourself before others. It requires you to tune into your body, your emotions, your mind and your soul and attend to what it is you really need and desire.

Silence Your Inner Critic

In order to care for ourselves we must first recognise and banish the inner critic. This is the voice in your head that always casts doubt on your inspiration, your actions or even just you. That inner ‘judge’, ‘mean girl’, ‘critic’, ‘saboteur’ or whatever you call it, (I call mine ‘The Committee’) serves us at certain times in our life.  But at others it undermines our dreams and can keep us locked down in limiting thoughts.

There are times in our life we really need that inner voice.  It is the voice of caution that pops up to keep us safe.  But it is also the voice that keeps us small, limited, and unfulfilled.

In the interests of self-care and empowerment it is when that inner judge is most vocal that you need to reclaim the control to direct your own life.  When you don’t claim control, your inner voice will keep you restricted by replaying your old stories and belief systems that don’t support your personal growth.

The second part of the process is to attend to your needs.  A lot of people think this is about pampering but it is much more.  While pampering can be a part of self-care it’s not the crux.  At its centre self-care is about tuning in to your body, emotions, mind and spirit and addressing what it is you need on all these levels.

Guide To Self-Care

It can be hard to know how to begin the process of self-care.  Here are a few suggestions.

1. Shut Down Your Inner Mean Voice

I began the process of self-care by dealing with the critical voice of my ‘Inner Committee’.  The very first step was to notice it whenever it showed up and nip-it-the-bud to stop it dead.  I spoke directly to it with strong language at first.  I reminded it that I was the boss on our life journey; that it was welcome to come along for the ride, but I was in charge. I was surprised because it didn’t take long to shut it down fast and stop the limiting criticism.  This was incredibly liberating.

Start by noticing when your Inner Critic speaks up and takes over and immediately silence it with a simple ‘no’, ‘stop’ or ‘enough’. Don’t be afraid to use stronger language if it’s needed.

2. Accept The Whole You

Accepting who you are in your entirety can be challenging but is vital to you becoming whole.  This means loving yourself exactly as you are, flaws and all.  It means accepting your negative thoughts and the aspects of yourself that you’d rather others never knew existed.  And it’s about recognising that the aspects of yourself you may consider negative are often the very ones that are related to caring for your deepest needs.

Many people have been sabotaged by certain new age ideas that teach we must always be positive and vibrate high.  But natural laws dictate that nothing can exist in such polarity.  Everything must be balanced by its opposite, hot with cold, light with dark, masculine with feminine, spirit with matter.

And so it is with all things in the natural world, including our own personal light and shadow. We can’t always be positive. When we try to always vibrate high, we become unbalanced and unwell. Often your shadow aspects are the very things that protect you and address your needs.

It’s not about trying to change yourself to become better, but about acknowledging, accepting and integrating all parts of yourself. This is how you become whole.

3. Acknowledge Your Individuality

You are YOU!

Comparing yourself with others – your family, friends, celebrities, anyone – keeps you small.  It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself and your life with others. Scrolling social media can leave you feeling worthless when you play the comparison game.

Every person has their own journey in life. Each is unique. Every journey and every life story is special, individual and valuable. When you forget this and begin to compare yourself to others you immediately sabotage your self care. You don’t need to compare yourself to anyone.  Own your individuality and unique qualities.

4. Own Your Space

Very simply, you are worthy. You deserve to be here and you deserve your share of the amazing abundance of this universe.  You deserve to take up and own your space in this world and to enjoy the gifts the world offers.  It is not your role to belittle yourself, to hold yourself back or to deny yourself.

Remind yourself you don’t need permission to claim what your heart desires because this is your right.  Claiming it shows yourself love and respect and encourages others to also show you love and respect.

5. Perfect Ain’t Possible

Sometimes we forget that perfection is an unattainable goal. We push and push ourselves, never taking credit for our personal qualities and achievements.  When we can only accept perfection within, we are constantly in judgement of ourselves.  And we unwittingly invite the inner critic to take control once again and criticise what we do, and who we are.

“When perfectionism is driving us, shame is riding shotgun and fear is that annoying backseat driver.”

  ~  Brene Brown

Self-care is a crucial factor in your quest for Empowered Wellness.  As long as you continue to make yourself less than you are, and less than you deserve, you can never find the harmony and balance of Wholeness, in body, emotions, mind and spirit.

I’d love to hear about your own Self-Care Journey to Wholeness in the comments section below.

Disclaimer
All information and opinions presented here are for information purposes only and are not intended as a substitute for professional advice offered during a consultation with your health care provider.  Do not use this article to diagnose a health condition.  Speak to your doctor if you think your condition may be serious or before discontinuing any prescribed medication.  Please consult with your health care provider before following any of the treatment suggested on this site, particularly if you have an ongoing health issue.

© Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health, 2026. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health with appropriate and specific direction to the original content