Category Archives: Conscious Mindset. Stress

Conscious Mindset. Stress, Holistic Health & Natural Remedies, Nature's Rhythms

Seasonal Renewal for Spring Wellness

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Flowers are blooming, birds are nesting, the sun is shining and the days warming as the Earth breathes a deep sigh and Spring bursts forth.

As we finally bid Winter farewell Spring is blossoming, an exuberant reminder of abundance, growth and the promise of new beginnings. We’re ready to shrug off winter, stretch and expand our energy up and outwards.

Spring is a time of transformation and growth; a time to renew your energy and change your life. As the days warm and lengthen through Spring, you’ll start to feel lighter, both emotionally and physically.

Adopting these practices will leave you feeling your best and at the peak of Spring Wellness. Make them a part of your daily ritual to launch your momentum and rise to your fullest summer potential.

AWAKEN

Get outside. Let your inner child out to play, socialise and have fun. The sun is up earlier and staying around later. Join him and get outside to watch the dawn. Even if you wake grumpy give yourself the opportunity to get out, feel the earth under your feet and soak in all the benefits of grounding.

MOVE

Don’t let restlessness irritate you during Spring. Instead use it to kick-start your exercise program.

Spring is a great time to overhaul, or begin, your exercise routine. Walk, join a dance class, take up yoga or tai chi, join a hiking group or cricket team. Honour your body by not overdoing it and remember to keep hydrated or you’ll become fatigued very quickly.

RELEASE

If you want to bring the new into your life you must make space for it. Whether it’s a new spring wardrobe, new habits or new thought patterns, if you want to create a new you, you need to de-clutter first. The first step is to release everything that no longer serves you.

With the arrival of Spring our thoughts turn to Spring cleaning, and that also goes for our mindset. Spring offers a great opportunity to clear the mind and get rid of thoughts that undermine our self-esteem or are toxic to relationships. Once you clear out old toxic thought patterns you can start planting positivity seeds to create a life you love.

EAT

As we move out of winter’s chill we need to change our diet. The heavy, salty foods of winter put a strain on your liver, which is sensitive and can quickly become imbalanced during spring. Your liver is the main detoxifier in your body, so it needs some TLC during spring. Cut back on alcohol, fats, oil and particularly junk food.

Sour foods like vinegar, lemons, limes and grapefruit stimulate the liver. An excellent practice for Spring wellness is drinking lemon or lime water in the morning.

Bitter foods cleanse the liver and are essential for Spring health. Bitter foods include dandelion greens, radicchio, rapini, endive, kale, rocket (aragula), rye, chamomile, unsweetened cocoa, daikon, and even nettles. A salad of mixed leaves can easily include many bitter herbs.

Replace heavy winter foods with light, quickly-cooked ingredients.

FRIENDSHIP

With the warming weather and longer days, Spring is a great time to reconnect with your support network.

Friends who really listen to you and have your back when the going gets rough are essential for wellness. Having someone you really trust who will hold the space for you to download, discuss, or even rant if you need, helps you stay on top of stress and overwhelm as life gets busier.

SLEEP

Most people don’t get enough sleep without even realising. Some are ‘tired-but-wired’ which makes sleep difficult. For others the messages from the brain that they need sleep are lost because after chronic sleep-shortage their internal sensing system no longer recognises the signal.

Adults need between seven and eight hours sleep every night. Binge sleeping on the weekend doesn’t compensate for lost sleep during the week, or the other way around.

Research has shown sleep quality is directly connected to what you eat through the day. Increasing high fibre foods in the diet was linked to more restorative sleep.

If worry is keeping you awake introduce some strategies to reduce the stress. Crucially, don’t sleep with your cell phone right beside you, and stop using it at least thirty minutes before bedtime.

If your bedroom does not support good sleep use this guide to make changes.

STRESS

Spring is the perfect time to set the intention to manage your stress more effectively.

As we move through Spring towards the end of the year life gets busier and busier. It’s easy to roll along juggling all the balls until you drown in overwhelm without ever realising it’s happening. Don’t end up burnt out by year end.

While planning is important, de-stress techniques are just as important to get on top of your stress and stay there. Use these excellent strategies to reduce and manage the effect of stress on your mind and body in the busy days up to the end of the year.

MINDSET SPRING-CLEAN

When you want to bring the new into your life you have to make space for it. Whether it’s a new Spring wardrobe, new habits or new thought patterns, if you want to create a new you, you need to de-clutter first. For it to become a new habit the first step is to release everything that no longer serves you.

Spring offers a great opportunity to clear our mindset and get rid of thoughts that undermine our self-esteem or are toxic to relationships. Once you clear out toxic thought patterns you can start planting positivity seeds to create a life you love.

Challenge yourself. When old attitudes and thought patterns arise again, try seeing things from a different perspective. Start by watching and noticing whenever you run those same old stories about yourself.

Notice whenever you criticise yourself, when you tell yourself you’re stupid, or ugly, or fat, or any other negative put-downs. Then call it out for what it is. Remember it is not the ‘true you’ thinking this. Remind yourself of your true value, that you’re smart, lovable, beautiful, or whatever applies.

Imagine the ‘negative voice’ in your head as an actual person or character. (I used to think of it as the ‘Control Committee’.) Then replace that negative character with a loving, supportive, friendly character or committee who always has your back. Whenever the negative, judgemental character spits out criticism say to yourself “I see you. You are not the true me.” Then turn to the second loving character for positive, encouraging reinforcement.

Once you call out the limiting beliefs you’ll find they start to run less frequently and hold less potency to undermine you. Reclaim your power with awareness, simply by watching, witnessing and naming.

UPLIFT SPIRIT

While everyone needs time to zone-out, use the energy of Spring to change HOW you recharge.

Instead of crashing in front of reality TV, get smarter. Use the building momentum of this time of new beginnings to read uplifting books, listen to music that benefits your soul, or take an aromatherapy bath. Zone-out for good health and Spring Wellness.

With all the fresh new routines and rituals you’re welcoming into your life be sure to maintain balance. Put a spring in your step, not a drive to the fast lane. Be mindful. Listen to your body. Open to new opportunities. Eat slowly. Live in awareness.

Disclaimer

All information and opinions presented here are for information only and are not intended as a substitute for professional advice offered during a consultation. Please consult with your health care provider before trying treatment suggested on this site.

© Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health, 2012. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Conscious Mindset. Stress, Holistic Health & Natural Remedies

21 Ways to Manage Stress

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When Stress Becomes Overwhelm

Everyone has a ‘stress threshold’, which is the point where stress becomes overwhelming.  This point is different for each one of us.  But whether you have a low stress threshold or a high one where it takes a major life event to upset your equilibrium, we all experience stress at some time.  And when that happens our bodies react in a similar way.

Stress is all fine if your body turns off the response as the stress subsides.  But when the stress in our lives never stops, or if it’s coming from many directions at once, our brains can no longer balance the stress and relax responses.  And that creates many serious health consequences.  One of these consequences is that our brain stops functioning well, especially when it comes to memory, both laying down new memories and retrieving old memories.

What Stress Looks Like

It can be easy to miss the signs that ongoing stress is becoming a problem because being stressed is not just about worry and anxiety.

Stress shows up in our body and behaviour in many different ways. In your physical body it can show up somatically with symptoms such as headaches, heart palpitations or chest pain, digestive issues, insomnia or back pain. Trying to reverse these symptoms becomes difficult because they are often attributed to other causes rather than stress.

Stress can affect your thinking and manifest in changed behaviours and habits. It can make you feel anxious, depressed, irritated or hopeless. But it can also cause emotional or excessive eating, substance abuse or avoiding going out or seeing friends.

When stress causes anxiety, it doesn’t always look like worry so again, it can be easy to overlook. This is what Anxiety May Look Like.

Managing Stress

Being in a chronic state of stress can be difficult to recognise because it can appear like ‘life as normal’. However, it’s important to take steps to reduce the effects of stress because they can be serious and even dangerous.

If stress has affected your ability to cope and you’re shifting towards overwhelm this video will help with 21 effective ways to manage stress.

Find more about the effects of chronic stress and how to manage it in the Conscious Mindset. Stress category.

Disclaimer

All information and opinions presented here are for information only and are not intended as a substitute for professional advice offered during a consultation. Please consult with your health care provider before trying treatment suggested on this site.

© Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health, 2012. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Conscious Mindset. Stress, Holistic Health & Natural Remedies

Magical Magnesium

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My sister loves soaking in her big, deep bath because it relieves her tired and aching muscles and helps her sleep better. She knows adding Epsom salts to the bathwater makes it even more effective. But what she doesn’t know is that Epsom salts are rich in the mineral magnesium.

Epsom salts are rich in magnesium, a mineral that can be poorly absorbed when taken internally.

Magnesium Deficiency

Many people suffer from a magnesium deficiency, and this is often because magnesium is poorly absorbed. Magnesium is frequently deficient in our diets. However, soaking in a bath containing Epsom salts is an excellent and relaxing way to replenish your magnesium levels.

Most of the population does not get enough magnesium. In 2000 the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (in USA) found that the deficiency figure was as high as 80% of adults, a figure most likely mirrored here in Australia. This figure is significant because the mineral magnesium plays a part in thousands of functions in your body. Also, magnesium is easily depleted. Problematically, magnesium deficiency is often overlooked because it manifests differently in each individual.

Magnesium Synergy

The mineral magnesium, plays a vital role in building and maintaining good health, working in conjunction with many other nutrients, particularly calcium and Vitamin D.

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Most people know that they need calcium and vitamin D. But the third side of this triangle is perhaps not so widely known. Magnesium also plays a part in this picture, and while magnesium deficiency is quite widespread due to deficient intake, it is frequently not addressed with diet or supplementation in the way that calcium is.

The Magic Triangle: Magnesium, Calcium, Vitamin D

Magnesium, calcium and vitamin D work in unison in the body. All three require the others to do their job, and it doesn’t matter if you are getting adequate amounts of one of them, without the others it will not be able to do its job. Which means taking calcium supplements without sufficient magnesium is not much use. Your body needs about twice as much calcium as magnesium, but many people actually have much, much more calcium and many times less magnesium.

Magnesium is the fourth most abundant element in your body. It helps to regulate over three hundred enzymes. It also plays a vital role in muscle control and sending electrical impulses along the nerves. Magnesium contributes to energy production and also assists in the elimination of toxins.

Many common diseases of our modern life can be rooted in a magnesium deficiency. It can lead to heart disease, stroke, osteoporosis, arthritis and joint pain, digestive disorders, chronic fatigue, or illnesses resulting from stress. Long term chronic magnesium deficiency damage can even be fatal.

When we talk of muscles everyone usually thinks of those in the legs or back, and most people have experienced muscle cramps at some time, often in the legs or feet. But how many think of their heart as also being a muscle? Low magnesium levels can affect the efficient working of your heart, in the same way that they can lead to cramping of your leg muscles.

Magnesium Deficiency Symptoms

Early symptoms of magnesium deficiency:
  • Restlessness
  • Muscle cramps, tremors & twitches
  • Restless or fidgety legs
  • Pain in the feet
Other indicators of a possible magnesium deficiency:
  • Migraines, cluster headaches 
  • Anxiety, stress & panic attacks
  • Fatigue, sluggishness. People with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome often also eat a magnesium deficient diet.
  • Poor sleep & waking up tired – difficulty falling asleep or waking with muscle stiffness
  • Low energy levels
  • High blood pressure & cholesterol levels
  • Period pain & PMS: Deficiency can also lead to infertility and pregnancy problems
  • Nervousness: Heightened sensitivity to external stimuli like lights and noise, with exaggerated emotions
  • Irritability of the nervous system: Depression, restlessness, psychiatric conditions including bipolar and epilepsy.
  • Kidney stones
  • Poor memory & confusion
  • Calcium or potassium deficiency
  • Autism spectrum, ADD/ADHD, other neurological conditions

Magnesium Rich Foods

Good food sources of magnesium are whole grains and green leafy vegetables, as well as legumes and nuts. Although grains and seeds are normally rich sources of magnesium, processing destroys or removes it. Therefore, there are very low levels, or often no magnesium at all in processed foods like white flour, white rice and foods made from them. Processing strips away the parts of the plant containing magnesium and heating destroys it. Magnesium rich foods only deliver the benefits if they are not processed.

Because modern farming practices lead to magnesium deficient soils crops grown in those soils also contain very low levels of magnesium. Foods that should be rich in magnesium no longer are.

Magnesium Drainers

On top of the problem with magnesium deficient foods, our food choices, habits and lifestyle can impact magnesium levels within our bodies.

Hardly surprisingly our western diet, which is high in processed breads, pasta, cereal, biscuits, sugar and more contributes to deficiency. This is not just because these foods are themselves often low in magnesium, many also affect the way we metabolise magnesium. Sweet foods for instance, require more magnesium to break them down. Other foods increase the loss of magnesium in urine. while others bind the magnesium so it can’t be absorbed.

Lifestyle habits such as intense exercise or stress deplete magnesium levels. Certain health conditions including coeliac disease and Type II Diabetes also impact magnesium absorption and excretion.

With so many things to deplete magnesium in the body it’s no surprise that so many have low levels.

  • Sugars, fats, salt and proteins in our diet all deplete magnesium.
  • Diuretics, such as caffeine, with even just one coffee a day, can cause it.
  • Alcohol is another form of diuretic, and weekend binge drinking could result in your body dumping a load of magnesium.
  • Medications for blood pressure, diuretics, metformin, some antibiotics, long term PPIs and laxatives all deplete magnesium.
  • Chronic low-grade stress causes magnesium deficiency

If you recognise yourself in any of these scenarios have your magnesium levels checked with a view to adding a supplement.

Even if your diet is really well balanced, you may still need a magnesium supplement. Choose magnesium supplements in the form of magnesium citrate because it’s better absorbed.

Magnesium Supplements

There are a few ways to increase your magnesium levels. You can start with increasing the amount of magnesium rich foods you eat. Nuts especially almonds and cashews, pumpkin seeds, legumes, quinoa, dark leafy vegetables such as spinach, avocados, green peas and potatoes, fibre-rich whole grains and 30gm of dark chocolate are all magnesium top picks.

But if testing shows your magnesium levels are low you’ll need more. Tablet or capsule supplements are the sure way to deliver a measured dose to restore optimum levels in the body.

One way to maintain healthy levels is to apply magnesium oil (magnesium chloride) or gel to your skin.

Epsom Salt Bath

While ingesting Epsom salts causes side effects an Epsom salt bath is a relaxing way to get the health benefits of magnesium and reduce stress at the same time. Studies are limited but show that after regular bathing in the magnesium-rich Epsom salts levels increased in the body. Bathing in Epsom salts bypasses problems with poor absorption of supplements in the gut.

Photo credit: Monica Arellano-Ongpin

Add about 1-2 cups of Epsom Salts to the tub. Dissolve them in hot water first and then fill the tub about half full with water as warm as you can tolerate. The warmer the water and the bigger the tub, the more salt will dissolve.

If you suffer from chronic deficiency start with just a tablespoon of salt and work your way up to the full amount to avoid any negative reactions. Soak for about twenty minutes. You can leave the salt to dry on your skin or rinse it off. But don’t drink the water!

If you don’t have a big tub, use a foot bath instead. Mix 1 part salt to 2 or more parts water and soak for 20-30 minutes.

‘Lectric Soda

Just a quick warning note about Epsom Salt. ‘Lectric Soda’, found on supermarket shelves is not Epsom salts. It is made from limestone (calcium carbonate) processed with sodium chloride. Epsom Salts are magnesium sulphate.  Look for the real deal.

Epsom Salts in the Garden

If you’re a gardener, you may already know that Epsom salt is magic in your garden. It helps seeds germinate, makes plants grow bushier, produces more flowers, increases chlorophyll production and deters pests, such as slugs. It also provides vital nutrients to supplement your regular fertilizer (or compost!).

The health benefits of magnesium are extensive for both people and plants. It’s essential to consider your magnesium status and make any changes needed for your wellness.

Disclaimer.

All information and opinions presented here are for information only and are not intended as a substitute for professional advice offered during a consultation. Please consult with your health care provider before trying treatment suggested on this site.

© Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health, 2012. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Source articles

http://www.ancient-minerals.com/magnesium-sources/dietary/

The Magnesium Factor, Seelig, Mildred. 2003

Conscious Mindset. Stress

Conquer Your Fear

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“When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

We all have fears but often they block our way, distorting our understanding of a situation and clouding our ability to make wise life decisions. Fear locks us down, holding us back from seizing the day.

Whilst our fears are often deeply embedded in our psyche, they can be overcome, freeing us to boldly take the next step towards creating a meaningful life of purpose.

Even though we’d always prefer not to feel it, fear is a very useful emotion.  It kept our cave-dwelling ancestors one step ahead of Saber-Tooth Tiger attacks for example.  But today, most of our fears come from within; fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of failure, or the fear of not measuring up.

Feeling fear is uncomfortable so to avoid that feeling we play it safe.  But playing it safe means staying within our comfort zone.  The thing is, a lot of what we want from life, the things that make us feel most alive, exist outside our comfort zone.   Since what we want is beyond our comfort zone AND our fear strives to keep us inside that zone, we’re left with a real dilemma.

We can’t make progress with one foot on the brake and the other on the accelerator.  We have to choose and commit to one or the other.

Living your life to the fullest means trying new things, meeting new people, and taking calculated risks.  So the question becomes, “How do we overcome our fear so we can do that?”

Fear is a warning sign of what MIGHT happen.  Just because we can imagine all the dangers and potential pitfalls of an activity, doesn’t mean they will actually eventuate. Even though we may know this we often fail to act appropriately.

However, the beauty here is that if the source of our fears comes from within, so too does the solution to overcoming them.

You have the power to face and overcome your fears.  So, fear not!

Building Courage

When we’re dealing with the debilitating effect of fear it’s important to remember that the default position our thoughts take is to sabotage us.   Our thought patterns are adversely altered by fear, which makes it harder to make a rational decision in uncertain or challenging situations.

Our brain’s biases mean we often amplify the potential negative consequences of taking action while at the same time we downplay any possible positives.  Therefore, it is vital to remain constantly aware of this skewed perspective and not allow it to influence our actions.

3 Steps to Conquer Fear

With this in mind let’s look at ways to conquer the fear that’s holding you back.

Our natural urge is to turn away from the discomfort of fear but the first step in overcoming your fears involves facing them head on.

We’re afraid of things we can’t see.  When you hear a noise in the middle of the night you turn on a light to see what it is.  In the same way the first step to overcoming your fear is by shining a light on it, observing it and acknowledging it.  It’s easier to rise above something when you know exactly what you’re up against.  You often find it’s not as bad as you initially feared.  But you’ll never know until you look!

Observe and Acknowledge

It’s time now to focus and take action by putting your fears into the spotlight and making yourself a ‘Fear List’.  Take a sheet of paper and draw three columns.  Label the first column Define, the next Reframe and the third Support.

Don’t use your smartphone or other device for this exercise, do it the old way. Science has shown handwriting has a significant neurological advantage over typing. It’s a potent brain exercise with a wide range of cognitive benefits including helping to work through complex problems.

Define

Consider what scares you.  We’re not talking about your fear of snakes or confined spaces here, but rather the things you are afraid to do. This might look like talking to your spouse about finances, quitting your job, standing your ground with in-laws, starting a business, or many others.

List these in the first column under Define.  Include all your doubts, the worst-case scenarios you can imagine and any problems that you think might arise.

You could frame them in this way for an effective understanding of the issue:

I want to______ and I scare myself by imagining____.

For example:

I want to talk to my spouse about our finances and I scare myself by imagining they will get defensive about our spending habits, and it will end in an argument.

OR:

I want to build a successful business, and I scare myself by imagining I don’t have what it takes, I won’t be able to get clients and I won’t earn enough money so I’ll be unable to pay the mortgage and will then lose my house.

This exercise reveals how your fears are created by imagining the negative ‘what if’s’ and how your thoughts can quickly escalate them out of proportion.

Change the Narrative

The next step to transforming that negative into a positive is to create a powerful narrative that supports you to draw on your inner courage and strength to take control and overcome your fear.

Reframe

Turn to the second column Reframe and use this column to reframe the fears you identified and defined.

Use this statement to rework your fear and add your new statements to the second column:

Instead of scaring myself by imagining____ I will focus my energy/work hard to ____.

For example:

Instead of scaring myself by imagining that my spouse and I will argue over finances, I will investigate what might be some shared common goals for our savings and investments.

OR:

Instead of scaring myself by imagining that my business will fail and I won’t be able to pay my bills and will lose my house, I will do the background market research, learn the skills and diligently apply the effort to create my successful business.

By flipping the fear into a compelling positive and conscious vision, it makes it much less scary to move past our fears.

Silencing, suppressing, or denying your fear in any way gives it strength.  But by shining a light on our fears and identifying and reframing them they begin to lose the power they have over us.

Plan of Action

This is your chance to brainstorm practices and strategies that could support you to overcome your fears.

Support

The third column is for investigating ways to support yourself through the challenge and prevent the worst-case scenarios from occurring.

For each fear you listed explore ways you could behave to make the challenge easier or actions you could take to prepare yourself before facing the fear.

This might look like:

When I speak with my spouse about finances, I will choose a time when we both feel relaxed, I’ll use words that are not confrontational and when I feel challenged I will take a few deep breaths before responding.

OR:

Before I start my business I will seek advice from a financial advisor about how I can restructure my current financial obligations to relieve some of the pressure.

OR:

If I find myself in trouble later as a result of this decision, I can draw on my ability to freelance or I can work a few hours in a second part-time job until I move past the challenge.

In the Support column you could also add contacts you can reach out to. Include practices to adopt which relieve the stress caused by fear such as meditation which helps you gain greater clarity about the situation. List professional courses or practitioners who could support you.

The Breath of Fire Meditation is a powerful supporting practice to break the grip fear holds over you.

A New Trajectory

Once you have finished your columns you may be surprised to discover that your worst-case fear is not as devastating as you had believed it to be. This realisation will allow you to look forward positively.

Take a fresh sheet of paper.  On this sheet begin to record what might go well if you overcome your fear and move forward.

This might look like:

Instead of imagining my spouse and I will argue over finances, by working together we could start saving for a house or take a longed-for trip overseas.

OR:  

By starting my own business armed with the knowledge and resources I need, I could discover I love going to work each day instead of dreading it. Plus, I will be able to take control of managing my time so I can spend more time with my family.

Consequences

And now take one last sheet of paper and on this list all the consequences of NOT taking action.  

This may look like feeling stuck in a terrible job where you can’t grow; not having an open relationship with your spouse and feeling resentful; never owning your own home; not discovering a new hobby or activity you love and are great at; or even losing friends who have offended you.

Consider the impact over one year, five years and ten years. Include any potential emotional, financial and physical costs as well as the effect it will have on realising your dreams. You can alter this time frame if it doesn’t fit your situation.  For example, one week, six weeks and three months might be more appropriate.

Completing all these steps will help you move above your limiting thoughts and present clear reasons for or against pressing on in spite of the underlying fear.

Of course, learning to overcome fear is easier said than done.  When you’re gripped by fear it’s hard to see an escape hatch.  But, since your fear comes from within, you always hold the key to that escape hatch.   When you turn that key, you release your fears.

Apply these tactics to overcoming your fears to keep moving forward.   Your dreams depend on it!

Disclaimer

All information and opinions presented here are for information only and are not intended as a substitute for professional advice offered during a consultation. Please consult with your health care provider before trying treatment suggested on this site.

© Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health, 2012. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Conscious Mindset. Stress, Meditation & Mindfulness

Breath Of Fire Meditation For Courage

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With so much going on in the world life can feel overwhelming.

The powerful Breath of Fire technique enables you to connect with the courage of your soul. It’s a simple form of breath work which alters your energetic state by amplifying the electrical currents in your body.

This breathing technique supports you to stay grounded in the moment even when you’re surrounded by chaos and drama. It helps keep you really stable so you can remain completely present, with a clear mind, balanced emotions, calm body and a positive spirit.

Breath Of Fire is a truly potent tool that’s simple to do anywhere and everywhere. You can use this meditation and the associated affirmation that goes with it anytime. Use this tool in your daily life whenever you need to generate or access your courage, or when you need to build your energy in order to face a situation where you feel challenged, uncertain or fearful.

The Breath Of Fire helps you stay outside perceptions of fear and worry about what’s going on around you. When you’re not being drawn into other people’s emotional drama you can start to see and understand what’s happening with greater clarity.

Standing outside the drama, you can heighten your awareness to notice what’s really going on rather than what you think or imagine is going on. With clear vision and detachment from the turbulence, you can focus and observe just what it is that you actually do notice, without getting caught up in all the emotional drama.

Let’s Get Started

First get comfortable. Find a place where you won’t be disturbed. Close the door and turn off your phone. It’s fine to sit or stand or even kneel for this meditation just as long as your spine is straight and your ribcage is slightly lifted.

During the meditation if you feel the need to move while you do this, go ahead and move.  If you notice any emotions coming to the surface, allow them to rise and move away. They are all a part of the process, a part of accessing and embracing your courage.

The meditation starts out slowly to help you generate the pattern and the rhythm of the breath. With this technique you breathe with a series of short intakes of air, rather like strong sniffs. I’ll walk you through the technique first so you can set up the rhythm of it and become familiar with the cycle. Then I’ll leave you to navigate the breathing at your own pace.

If you need longer to practice the technique pause the recording until you feel comfortable to move forward. Once you’re familiar with the technique continue on at your own pace as the music builds up. Then take your attention inward and allow the breath to take care of itself.

It’s fine to continue on with the breathing after the recording finishes for as long as you need until you feel a sense of empowerment. You may need longer during more stressful times or situations.

Disclaimer

All information and opinions presented here are for information only and are not intended as a substitute for professional advice offered during a consultation. Please consult with your health care provider before trying treatment suggested on this site.

© Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health, 2012. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Conscious Mindset. Stress, Self Care

Learn To Love Yourself Unconditionally

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“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving everything that wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits – anything that kept me small. My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.”   
~ Kim McMillen

Most of us are so busy waiting for someone to love us that we’ve forgotten about the one person we need to love first—ourselves. While we’re caught up looking for love from a partner we miss out on receiving love from the one person who has the most amazing love to give. That is the person who stares back at us from the mirror. However, you can learn to love yourself unconditionally.

Falling in love with yourself does not have to be loaded with guilt. It’s not selfish when we do it with appreciation. And best of all we discover a source of love that never runs out.

It’s often said that we “can’t expect others to love us if we don’t love ourselves first”. While this is true to an extent it’s not the whole picture. Because the reality is, others DO love us even when we don’t love our self. They see the beauty within us even when we can’t.

When we don’t show our self genuine love we can very quickly find we’re caught in a cycle of negativity. Lack of self-confidence, insecurity, jealousy and self-loathing feed off each other and escalate our unhappiness. If we continue in this pattern we begin to push others away. This perpetuates our belief that we are not worthy of love, and reinforces our self-dislike.

Conversely, when we love our self and treat our self with kindness and respect, we always have someone around who sends us love. We feel more confident, positive, and secure. We draw others to us and we receive even more love from them also.

How To Love Yourself

So how do you start falling in love with yourself? The whole idea of turning this concept into a process may seem a bit ridiculous. However, it’s not really so silly.  Engaging in a process of introspection and appreciation makes the process very possible.

When you fall in love with someone else the romance follows a few steps. You can follow these same steps to fall in love with yourself.

Your First Meeting

Your quest for love begins when you meet an interesting person.

Similarly, the first step to loving yourself is to meet YOU. Close your eyes and take a few deep belly-breaths. When you feel relaxed turn your attention within.

Without any judgement consider what you are really like? What do you like to do, to eat, to play, your interests, and your passions? What are your accomplishments? What is good about you? Don’t be critical. Recognise what’s interesting and unique about you.

If you are struggling to find positive qualities within think about the qualities you admire in others. These qualities, talents or gifts you admire are a reflection of qualities that are also present within you. We admire them in others but often we cannot recognise them in ourselves.

Getting To Know Yourself

After meeting somebody new you get to know them.

If you don’t know the answer to some of these questions about yourself watch yourself carefully over the next week. Bring your awareness on board to explore what’s great about you. Look within to discover what your desires and dreams, your strengths, weaknesses and fears are.

Once you get to know these aspects better you can begin to appreciate the little things.

Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
~ Rumi

Loving Your Shadow

Often we are loathe to accept our self entirely. We reject certain things about our self that we deem unacceptable or bad and often hide these characteristics and behaviour from others.

But we can never love our self if we only accept the “nicer” parts of us. Self-love is the result of recognising, accepting and integrating every part of us, the light and the shadow.

A big problem with repressing parts of our self is that dark aspects can sabotage us. When they are not integrated within our wholeness they are very limiting.

Anger, frustration, jealousy, selfishness, bossiness, manipulation, bitchiness, and greed are all aspects we’re taught we must overcome. But they are all as much a part of us as generosity, selflessness and loyalty. And over your lifetime your shadow aspects have ALL played an important role in your self-care and protection. Every shadow aspect that resonates with you or that you strongly reject has contributed to building your strength today.

Inner Shadow Aspects

When we recognise, acknowledge and integrate a ‘selfish shadow’ it supports us to practise self-care. It allows us to ask for what we want as well as to not give more than we can.

An ‘inner bitch’ shadow provides the strength to step forward from a place of personal power to create healthy boundaries. It allows you to ask for what you want, need and deserve without feeling manipulative or mean.

Once you integrate ‘inner victims’ within your whole you become more empathetic and appreciative of others who suffer. Once it is fully integrated you easily shift to being able to better help and heal others.

The ‘inner greedy person’ causes you to give more and more value or support, never feeling you’ve provided enough. But when integrated it amplifies your ability to give to others as well as to receive. It tells you when you really need to ask for more, and reminds you it’s ok that your needs are also met.

Very often we don’t recognise the good and the benefit that our shadow characteristics bring. We overlook that they help make us a complete person. When we acknowledge and integrate them they support us to build happiness and fulfillment in our life.

Know Yourself Completely

Take some time to get to know your whole self.

Find a quiet space. Turn off the phone and close the door. Close your eyes and take a few deep relaxing breaths. Then call out your inner shadow, whichever it may be. Ask it how it has made you stronger.  Ask it what it needs from you in order to be healed, heard, appreciated and valued. You may be surprised at the answer. But trust that this is your deep inner knowledge and wisdom directing you.

Ask what you need to do right now to move forward. If the answer is vague like “love yourself more” ask for specifics such as “how would it look if I were more loving to myself”?

It can be scary to start integrating your shadow aspects. But if you allow them to move forward they will guide you and support you to greater self-care and self-love. While you repress shadow aspects they suck your power and control you with judgement and criticism. Once you integrate them the resistance they once created disappears and they become your allies.

It becomes far easier to love yourself when you’re not beating yourself up for not being “perfectly good”. Such a thing does not, and cannot exist. There can be no light without dark, no day without night, no good without bad. And there can be no self-love without acceptance of our WHOLE self, both the light and the shadow.

Once you begin to trust and appreciate ALL of you within, you’ll come to appreciate that person is worth every gram of your love.

Dig Deeper

While becoming aware of ALL of you, the light and the shadow, is a great way to start loving yourself it is only the beginning. You need to do a little more to love yourself completely.

Once you get to know the awesome person within and appreciate all their wonderful characteristics it’s time to build trust. This person won’t abandon you or hurt you. They will always be there for you. Building trust can take time, but if you begin to trust a little you’ll see it’s warranted, and you can then trust a bit more.

Give yourself love, just as much as you would to someone else – a lover, child, parent or sibling or even a BF. You have great love to give and you are worthy of your love.

Perform loving acts such as hugging yourself to remind yourself of your love. Every day remember to tell yourself that you love YOU and remind yourself how strong and beautiful you are.

These steps can take a little time but are very important.

Ask yourself:

  • “What is the first thing I need to do right now to move forward?” and
  • “How can I shower myself with all my love today? Can you identify three different ways to achieve this?

Making the decision to love yourself for who you are is a gift that you are also giving to everyone around you.

love and value yourself

Disclaimer

All information and opinions presented here are for information only and are not intended as a substitute for professional advice offered during a consultation. Please consult with your health care provider before trying treatment suggested on this site.

© Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health, 2012. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conscious Mindset. Stress, Self Care

30 Daily Love Gifts To Yourself

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Are you showering yourself with Self-care?

Do you regularly show yourself love, compassion and kindness?

Do you notice when you need to stop, take a break, even just a minute, to nurture, ground and replenish yourself? Or are you quick to berate and run yourself down?

Do you forget to nurture and care for yourself because life is too busy?

Do you show yourself the same compassion and kindness you show to others?

Too often we avoid our own needs. We invest in caring for others and forget, or don’t allow ourselves, to care for ourselves.

So how do you show yourself love, compassion and kindness when you don’t know how?

Daily Love Potions – A Gift to Yourself

When we are stuck in a pattern where we neglect to love and care for ourselves it’s easy to forget how to reverse that. 

In order to change our habits and show ourselves the love we deserve, we have to change both what we think and what we believe about ourselves. 

Daily Love Potions can help you not only change what you do for yourself, but also give insight and understanding about why you’re holding yourself back.

And the beauty is that everyone around you will also benefit. As you show yourself greater love, compassion and kindness you’ll also have more to give to others. What greater gift can you give to yourself and those you love and care for?

The Daily Love Potions Worksheet

So how do you start this process? What more could you do for yourself?  Most of us rarely allow ourselves to answer this question honestly and completely.

The Daily Love Potions Worksheet is a potent tool to help you become more supportive, nurturing and loving towards yourself – every day!

DOWNLOAD 

your Daily Love Potions Worksheet 

Download Worksheet

How To Use The Daily Love Potions Worksheet

Create a list of ideas about how you can show yourself self-love, kindness, nurturing and compassion. Go wild with ideas. Include things you’ve longed for but never allowed yourself.

Then take the worksheet and fill in each of the shapes with a self-love idea from your list.

There are no rules about how big or small this act can be. The only important thing is that you do it for you!

Once you’ve filled the shapes you can begin to gift the Love Potions to yourself.

Here’s how:

✦  Every day for 30 days perform one of the Love Potions for yourself. If some other new idea has shown up it’s fine to do that instead.

✦  You don’t have to do them in any order.

✦  You can repeat them, although try to do as many different Love Potions as possible.

✦  Once you’ve completed the Love Potion for each day write down what it was on your worksheet.

✦  Get yourself a beautiful journal to record your progress and responses to introducing the Daily Love Potions into your life.

Here are a few examples:

❤    Write a kind note to yourself on a sticky note

❤    Intervene before you put yourself down and stop it

❤    Take time for a cup of tea

❤    Watch a movie

❤    Go for a walk

❤    Listen to music while clearing the dishes

❤    Add some colour

❤    Paint

❤    Buy something that makes you feel good

❤    Treat yourself to a special meal

❤    Take a salt bath with essential oils

❤    Buy a new book

❤    Play with your dog or cat

❤    Bring some flowers into the house

❤    Say no to something you don’t want to do or go

❤   Take the day off

If You Get Stuck…

“I Made My List But Can’t Get Started”

If you started out full of good intentions but hit a roadblock before Day 1 – DON’T DESPAIR!

Sometimes when we decide to begin something new, fear rises up to stop us moving forward.

Don’t worry! This is just subconscious thoughts and patterns appearing. When things are about to change our subconscious can panic because it believes all change is scary and things are safer if they stay the same, even when they’re not good at all!

You just need to provide some reassurance to yourself that change can be good.

But to do that you need clarity about exactly what’s creating the block.

Asking yourself these questions can help:

Read through your Love Potion ideas. Pause at each one. Journal your response to these questions. Record both thoughts and feelings.

✦  As you finish reading through your list what is it you are feeling? Try to distill this into one word. Which of the Love Potions matches this feeling the most?

✦  Which Love Potion excites you?

✦  What on your list feels as though it could be a real challenge?

✦  What do you know about your list of Love Potions?

✦  What do you think will happen after 30 days? What do you hope will change?

✦  What is the thing that you wanted to put on your list but didn’t?

✦  What would you do if you were brave?

✦  When do you want to begin?

✦  Do you need to change anything before you start?

✦  What is your first step?

“I Began The ‘30 Days’ But Didn’t Finish”

If you started the 30 days of Love Potions but dropped off the wagon, don’t berate yourself.

Review each of your Daily Love Potions. Are they still the best ways you can show yourself love, compassion and kindness?

If the answer is NO, or they just don’t quite sit right, change them.

Your Expectations

These questions will help you get clear about your expectations about Daily Love Potions and also what may be holding you back from starting or continuing.  Answer the questions and then begin the 30 Day Challenge again with deeper insight into your needs and challenges.

✦  What is stopping you from committing to yourself?

✦  Is there anything in your life that provides a reason or excuse not to continue?

✦  How would you feel if you didn’t do anything on this list?

✦  Is there something on your list you find particularly challenging? Remember, the greatest challenge often holds the greatest reward.

✦  Review your list of Love Potions. Pause at each item. Are these still the best ways to show yourself love? Are there any that no longer sit comfortably with you? If the answer is ‘yes’, or they just don’t quite sit right, change them.

✦  What did you feel as you read through your list? Try to distill this feeling into a single word. This feeling may reflect an old belief that’s holding you back.

✦  What have you noticed so far as you do your Daily Love Potions?

✦  Do you need to change anything?

✦  When can you start again?

✦  What do you hope to get from this process? What do you think will happen?

You can never give yourself too much self-love and kindness

Integrate The Daily Love Potion Process

Congratulations! You’ve finished a whole month of treating yourself with kindness, compassion and love.

Sometimes after we do a process like this all the great practices we started, begin to slip away, until we fall back into our old critical or un-nurturing ways.

Once you finish the 30 days it’s time to make self-love, compassion and kindness natural and normal, everyday.

The key to making this a natural part of your life is to review and integrate what you discovered about yourself, and how it benefited you, instead of leaving it hanging.

Consider your response to each of these questions carefully and then record your answers in your journal.

✦  How was it filling out your Daily Love Potion ideas?

✦  Did you have problems finding enough Love Potions? How could you have refined your choices?

✦  Were there any you found particularly challenging?

✦  What do you feel as you look at your list of Daily Love Potions?

✦  Are there certain things on your list that make you feel inspired? What are they?

✦  What is alive in you right now?

✦  How are you doing at showing yourself some love each day?

✦  How do you feel when you choose to do something for yourself each day?

✦  What are the common themes you’re seeing?

✦  If you had a magic wand what would you do to show yourself some love?

✦  If you weren’t worried or concerned about anyone else, what would be one of your Love Potions?

✦  Is there anyone you would like to share your worksheet with? What would be your intention for that conversation?

✦  On your list of ideas what has the most energy for you?

✦  What item on your list is the scariest for you to think of doing?

✦  What practice on your list would bring you the most joy?

✦  What did you notice in yourself as you moved further through your list?

✦  Did you notice any change in the people around you as you moved further through the process?

✦  What changed for you over the 30 days?

✦  Which of these Love Potions can you introduce into your routine every single day?

✦  What have you learned about yourself through the 30 days?

Choose the Daily Potions from your list that you can easily do every day and that also lift your energy, your mood and your self-appreciation. Continue doing these until it seems like your day is incomplete if you forget them.

Disclaimer

All information and opinions presented here are for information only and are not intended as a substitute for professional advice offered during a consultation. Please consult with your health care provider before trying treatment suggested on this site.

© Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health, 2012. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Ancestral Wisdom, Conscious Mindset. Stress, Metaphysics & Intuition

Access Your Personal GPS to Activate Your Intuition

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Intuition is a type of intelligence that you always had,

even before you knew anything else at all. 

Right from the very beginning it quietly speaks

to you in small whispers that guide you towards

what’s best for your growth and happiness.

It can be difficult at times to consciously make choices that are aligned with your highest good. In challenging times confusion and indecision reign so you waver when facing complex alternatives. At times you may feel tempted to say, “I’ll just let the Universe guide me about which direction I should take, or what I should do next”. But this way of thinking gives away your personal power. It can leave you drifting aimlessly through your life experience.

It’s up to you to choose your life trajectory, it’s not enough to expect that somehow the Universe will guide you. You have to CHOOSE to take control of your life. But if that’s to be truly effective and create more than just the ‘Law Of Average’ for you, you need to learn to recognise your intuition and then to work with it effectively. Intuitive directed intelligence is a powerful support to help you make important decisions about your life direction and rise above the Law of Average.

Intuitive directed intelligence is a powerful tool to help you make important decisions about your life direction and to rise above the Law of Average.

Your Personal GPS

Imagine your intuition is a personal GPS system which works in a similar fashion to the GPS in your car.  If you have installed it correctly, you know how to use it properly.  Once you’ve switched it on you can rely on it to get you from where you are now to where you want to be, from point A to point B, in the most direct fashion.  You can expect that it will keep you clear of any traffic jams or roadblocks and take you by the fastest, most direct route to where you’re going.  And at the same time, it will give you good fuel economy and be efficient.

Intuition is just like a GPS for your life.  When you have all the components in place to make it function properly and know how to use it effectively, you can rely on it to guide you through life and get you to where you want to be in the best way possible.

The quality of the direction and support you get from your intuition is entirely dependent on how well you set up your intuitive GPS and how well you interact with its intuitive prompts. 

This relies on three important tools, Peace, Precision and Perception.

  • Peace is about creating a static-free environment where you can immediately recognise your intuition whenever it shows up.
  • Precision relates to giving your intuitive GPS precise directions.
  • Perception refers to the way you interpret the messages you receive.

ACTIVATE YOUR INTUITION

STEP ONE:

Go to your heart to generate coherence

Research by the HeartMath Foundation recently revealed that the intelligence carried within your heart out-powers that of the brain by 10 to 1. Because the heart is the first organ formed in the body, many more lines of information are developed from the heart TO the brain than there are from the brain to the heart. Much more information travels from the heart than from the brain.

Whenever we become stressed, our heart begins to race from fear, anxiety or overwhelm which means that our access to the problem-solving capabilities of our intuition is completely cut off.

Our brain has two types of power. The left brain deals with analytic and logical thoughts, and the right brain with creative thoughts. When we bring together our heart intelligence and our brain intelligence, we create a powerful middle ground of agile creativity which opens channels to our higher wisdom to solve problems and download new ideas.

Intuition thrives when all levels of our mind, that is, our brain, our heart and our gut, come together to function as a whole.

Action

Calm your mind with a meditative practice.

Create a vessel of peace and coherence to hold your intuitive process.

STEP TWO:

Peace. Clear out the static of stress

Stress is the number one obstacle that prevents you unleashing the power of intuition. Stress is like having static on your GPS. Whenever you’re too busy, have a deadline to meet, have too much to do, or are feeling overwhelmed in any way, you cannot access the creative power of higher wisdom.

When you are feeling stressed you become less efficient and less effective. You simply cannot bring up creative and innovative ideas and solutions when you’re stuck in your head, analysing and worrying over a problem or looking to others for advice. It’s impossible.

In order to break the patterns of stressful thought you need to remove yourself from your mind and its thought patterns, because your mind itself is the source of the stressful thoughts. You must relax your mind and clear out the static in order to allow intuition to speak instead. As Albert Einstein said, “You cannot solve a problem on the same level of thinking that created it. ” You need to shift your mind on to a new level in order to access intuitive wisdom and creative problem solving.

Action

Create more Peace.

Take a break, get outdoors and breathe.

STEP THREE:

Precision. The power of asking

Probably the most important step in this process is that of carefully creating a properly worded question. Just as with your car GPS, if you’re not really clear and exact about where you want to go, you’ll end up in the wrong place. You need to be really precise about both your starting point and your destination. Using simple language, ask exact and precise questions of your intuition. This is where most people slip-up in the beginning of this process. They don’t get clear solutions because they ask vague or ineffective questions.

Just as for a GPS, your strong starting point relies on a strong direction request. Questions need to be worded in the present moment, positively oriented and results based in order to get a more potent intuitive result.

Action

Get super clear about what you DO want and what your ultimate vision or goal actually is, rather than focusing on what you are afraid of or trying to avoid.

Make your questions precise.

STEP FOUR:

Forget what you know in order to expand your Perception

People who believe they know everything have great difficulty accessing intuition. Intuitive solutions emerge from the non-linear and non-rational part of the mind. They don’t often follow traditional ways of thinking. So unless you’re open to alternative ways to solve a problem you will limit how intuition can communicate with you.

When you know little or nothing about something you are not limited by what you DO know. Your mind is open to all possibilities. When you give yourself permission to forget what you’ve been taught your mind becomes open and accessible to all possibilities. This is why beginners luck can be so potent.

Action

Be willing to see, learn, and experience new things, however they may show up

STEP FIVE:

Perception – Pay Attention

Intuition speaks the language of the Creative Mind. It uses the language of symbols, and images, music, or art, and it draws on our senses to guide us.

Once you have formed a precise question to ask for direction from your intuition. This is the time to Pay Attention.

Call in the power of awareness and notice what you begin to notice through your day, and also in your dreams at night.

Anything that captures your attention, a song on the radio, a comment from a friend, a graffiti image, or a line in a movie could all hold the perfect answer. This is your intuitive GPS whispering to you. It’s up to you to notice and take action

Action

Watch more, speak less

STEP SIX:

Have fun, play, and take inspired action

Intuition thrives in an environment of peace, ease and grace. It speaks much more clearly in a mind that is not overwhelmed with stress or burdened with the need for perfection. It provides direction through a flexible and agile system that is open to any and every possibility.

Intuition is that voice that speaks to athletes when they’re in the zone, or artists, writers and musicians when they’re in the flow. It’s even that cautionary voice that warns us to be careful on a dark street. It is the detached whisper of inspiration, and it holds no emotion. It is calm and solid.

If you can recapture that feeling where life is a joy even when it’s challenging, and make this your starting point, intuition can begin to speak to you as clearly as any solid real-life coach.

Action

Lighten up! Laugh! Take inspired action

Disclaimer

All information and opinions presented here are for information only and are not intended as a substitute for professional advice offered during a consultation. Please consult with your health care provider before trying any of the treatment suggested on this site. 

© Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health, 2012. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Conscious Mindset. Stress, Self Care

Self-Care For Soul Empowered Wellness

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As Autumn winds down it’s time to treat yourself with compassion.  Be conscious this is the season to be gentle and wrap yourself with TLC.  If you are someone who is constantly there for everyone else, now is the time to turn that caring inwards and say ‘no’ to others.  It is only by first caring for your own needs that you can adequately care for those around you.

Self-care is a vital step on the pathway to Wellness. Although we may know that self-care is important it can be difficult to know how to begin to make the necessary changes. The answer is to begin with something simple and work up to the bigger challenges.

Self Love

Self-care begins with self-love which is an essential step on the pathway to Soul Empowered Wellness.

If you wish to grow in consciousness and walk a path of integrity and authentic power, one of the most fundamental steps is to attend to your self-care.  It all begins with self-love, the simple act of honouring yourself with kindness and respect.

Self-love has nothing to do with being selfish. Rather, it is about attending to your needs, not about putting yourself before others. It requires you to tune into your body, your emotions, your mind and your soul and attend to what it is you really need and desire.

Silence Your Inner Critic

In order to care for ourselves we must first recognise and banish the inner critic. This is the voice in your head that always casts doubt on your inspiration, your actions or even just you. That inner ‘judge’, ‘mean girl’, ‘critic’, ‘saboteur’ or whatever you call it, (I call mine ‘The Committee’) serves us at certain times in our life.  But at others it undermines our dreams and can keep us locked down in limiting thoughts.

There are times in our life we really need that inner voice.  It is the voice of caution that pops up to keep us safe.  But it is also the voice that keeps us small, limited, and unfulfilled.

In the interests of self-care and empowerment it is when that inner judge is most vocal that you need to reclaim the control to direct your own life.  When you don’t claim control, your inner voice will keep you restricted by replaying your old stories and belief systems that don’t support your personal growth.

The second part of the process is to attend to your needs.  A lot of people think this is about pampering but it is much more.  While pampering can be a part of self-care it’s not the crux.  At its centre self-care is about tuning in to your body, emotions, mind and spirit and addressing what it is you need on all these levels.

Guide To Self-Care

It can be hard to know how to begin the process of self-care.  Here are a few suggestions.

1. Shut Down Your Inner Mean Voice

I began the process of self-care by dealing with the critical voice of my ‘Inner Committee’.  The very first step was to notice it whenever it showed up and nip-it-the-bud to stop it dead.  I spoke directly to it with strong language at first.  I reminded it that I was the boss on our life journey; that it was welcome to come along for the ride, but I was in charge. I was surprised because it didn’t take long to shut it down fast and stop the limiting criticism.  This was incredibly liberating.

Start by noticing when your Inner Critic speaks up and takes over and immediately silence it with a simple ‘no’, ‘stop’ or ‘enough’. Don’t be afraid to use stronger language if it’s needed.

2. Accept The Whole You

Accepting who you are in your entirety can be challenging but is vital to you becoming whole.  This means loving yourself exactly as you are, flaws and all.  It means accepting your negative thoughts and the aspects of yourself that you’d rather others never knew existed.  And it’s about recognising that the aspects of yourself you may consider negative are often the very ones that are related to caring for your deepest needs.

Many people have been sabotaged by certain new age ideas that teach we must always be positive and vibrate high.  But natural laws dictate that nothing can exist in such polarity.  Everything must be balanced by its opposite, hot with cold, light with dark, masculine with feminine, spirit with matter.

And so it is with all things in the natural world, including our own personal light and shadow. We can’t always be positive. When we try to always vibrate high, we become unbalanced and unwell. Often your shadow aspects are the very things that protect you and address your needs.

It’s not about trying to change yourself to become better, but about acknowledging, accepting and integrating all parts of yourself. This is how you become whole.

3. Acknowledge Your Individuality

You are YOU!

Comparing yourself with others – your family, friends, celebrities, anyone – keeps you small.  It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself and your life with others. Scrolling social media can leave you feeling worthless when you play the comparison game.

Every person has their own journey in life. Each is unique. Every journey and every life story is special, individual and valuable. When you forget this and begin to compare yourself to others you immediately sabotage your self care. You don’t need to compare yourself to anyone.  Own your individuality and unique qualities.

4. Own Your Space

Very simply, you are worthy. You deserve to be here and you deserve your share of the amazing abundance of this universe.  You deserve to take up and own your space in this world and to enjoy the gifts the world offers.  It is not your role to belittle yourself, to hold yourself back or to deny yourself.

Remind yourself you don’t need permission to claim what your heart desires because this is your right.  Claiming it shows yourself love and respect and encourages others to also show you love and respect.

5. Perfect Ain’t Possible

Sometimes we forget that perfection is an unattainable goal. We push and push ourselves, never taking credit for our personal qualities and achievements.  When we can only accept perfection within, we are constantly in judgement of ourselves.  And we unwittingly invite the inner critic to take control once again and criticise what we do, and who we are.

“When perfectionism is driving us, shame is riding shotgun and fear is that annoying backseat driver.”

  ~  Brene Brown

Self-care is a crucial factor in your quest for Empowered Wellness.  As long as you continue to make yourself less than you are, and less than you deserve, you can never find the harmony and balance of Wholeness, in body, emotions, mind and spirit.

I’d love to hear about your own Self-Care Journey to Wholeness in the comments section below.

Disclaimer
All information and opinions presented here are for information purposes only and are not intended as a substitute for professional advice offered during a consultation with your health care provider.  Do not use this article to diagnose a health condition.  Speak to your doctor if you think your condition may be serious or before discontinuing any prescribed medication.  Please consult with your health care provider before following any of the treatment suggested on this site, particularly if you have an ongoing health issue.

© Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health, 2026. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Conscious Mindset. Stress, Meditation & Mindfulness

Anxiety May Look Like…

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Anxiety is not just being worried
It’s not just about being afraid.

Anxiety may look like all these:

Our world has changed so much over recent years and we’ve changed along with it.

We’ve become so used to living with pressure, stress and anxiety that we now take it for granted.  We believe that being on the edge of overwhelm is fine because it is completely normal, just as long as we don’t fall over the edge into burnout.

Sometimes, because it has become our normal, we don’t recognise that we’re living with constant anxiety because we forget that anxiety doesn’t always look like worry or fear.

Mindfulness is a simple, powerful and drug-free way to reduce anxiety

Being mindful relieves stress and anxiety because your awareness is in the present moment. You are not focused on what went wrong in the past or worrying about the possibilities of the future. Nor can you drift into the other avoidance behaviours of anxiety because your attention is focused. Your stress hormones are under control.

Discover techniques to reduce anxiety and more with mindfulness. 

Disclaimer

All information and opinions presented here are for information purposes only and are not intended as a substitute for professional advice offered during a consultation. Please consult with your health care provider before following any of the treatment suggested on this site, particularly if you have an ongoing health issue. 

© Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health, 2012. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Catherine Bullard and Happy Holistic Health with appropriate and specific direction to the original content